CrashCam

                            CineProductions

                               presents
 

                              ROCK OPERA

                                  by

                               Bob Ray

 
                     F I N A L  D R A F T  1.4

 

 

 

                                                   Bob Ray

                                                   2524 Baxter Drive

                                                   Austin, Texas 78745

                                                   (512) 916-9682

 1996, Bob Ray

 

(Registered by Writers Guild of America, West, Inc., on this date May

19, 1997, registration # 666951.)

 



        1 EXT ALLEYWAY DEL RIO NIGHT                               1

 

          Blackness, the SOUND of a zipper unzipping can be heard.

 

                                                   FADE IN:

 

          NED, a burly man of his late twenties, stands in a dirt

          alleyway, smoking a cigarette and pissing next to a closed

          door.  He sighs a lung full of smoke as he relaxes and pisses

          for quite some time.

 

          Suddenly, the door next to him comes flying open and crashes

          into him.  Ned is smashed between the door and wall.  His

          cigarette breaks in his mouth and he pisses all over himself.

 

                              NED

                    What the FUCK?!

 

          Ned mule-kicks the door and it slams shut.  He spins around

          to see TOE, a wiry fellow also in his late twenties, sprawled

          out on the dirt road before him.

 

                              NED

                           (continuing)

                    Hey motherfucker!

 

          Ned marches toward Toe, zipping up his pants.  Toe

          frantically scurries to his feet, slipping in the loose dirt.

          He bolts off down the alley in a cloud of dust.  Ned lunges

          forward, grabbing at Toe.

 

                              NED

                           (continuing)

                    You'd better run, you pussy!

 

          The door bursts back open and Ned freezes.  He whips his head

          around and sees a blood covered man (LUPE) standing in the

          doorway, swaying from side to side.

 

          Lupe's face is pale and covered in blood.  His left hand is

          pressed into his neck, trying to hold in his throat as it

          pours out blood.  His right hand reaches into his coat and

          yanks out a pistol.

 

          Pause on Lupe as he fires off a round, the recoil causes him

          to slip on the bloody tile beneath his feet.  Someone

          SCREAMS(O.S.) in agony.  He tries to stabilize himself with

          his elbow on the wall, neither hand wanting to loose

          possession of its valuable cargo.

 

          Lupe unloads another round as his legs give out and he slides

          down to the floor, leaving a slug-like trail of blood on the

          inside of the door.  Lupe fires again as his body hits the

          ground.



          Lying belly down in the dirt and covered in blood, Lupe fires

          his fourth shot.

 

          Lupe wipes at his eyes with his bloody sleeve. He squints as

          he struggles to hold the pistol upright, he aims and fires

          again.  Someone can be heard SCREAMING(O.S.).

 

          Near death and sprawled out in the doorway, Lupe squeezes off

          his next two shots, hitting the dirt in front of him and

          stirring up a cloud of dust.  Lupe's body goes limp.

 

          Suddenly, Lupe's body convulses as he tries to fire his

          already empty handgun, his arm jerks up and he squeezes the

          trigger one last time.  He exhales a last moan into the dirt

          as life escapes him and he goes limp again.

 

          A pair of feet (PACO) runs up to Lupe and stops.

 

                              PACO (O.S.)

                    Holy Christ.

 

                                                   FADE OUT:

 

                                   ROCK OPERA

 

          CREDIT SEQUENCE:  A montage of a bunch of flyers with the

          cast and crew names on them.  Flyers & stickers on telephone

          poles, doors, light poles, windows, etc...

 

 

        2 -A  INT TAD'S HOUSE DAY                                  2

 

          BEFORE:

 

          Blackness, the loud RINGING of a telephone interrupts the

          silence.  The sounds of TAD stumbling around can be heard, he

          crashes.  The answering machine clicks on, it's a recording

          of Tad singing a song.

 

                              TAD'S VOICE ON MACHINE (O.S.)

                    The devil went down to Tad's house,

                    he was lookin some weed to score....

 

          We HEAR the phone hit the ground with a loud ringing and

          crashing noise.  Instantly, the machine starts feeding back.

          Tad scoops up the phone.

 

                              TAD (O.S.)

                    Hello?  Aw, shit, hold on.



                              TAD'S VOICE ON MACHINE (O.S.)

                           (continuing)

                    He was in a bind he was lookin for

                    kind, but he was willin to make a

                    deal...

 

          More crashing noises can be HEARD as Tad wrestles with the

          answering machine, finally turning it off.

 

                                                   FADE IN:

 

 

        3 -A  INT  TAD'S BATHROOM DAY                              3

 

          We open with a shot of a dirty toilet from dead above, Tad's

          muffled voice can be heard talking on the phone in another

          room.

 

                              TAD (O.S.)

                    Tad's house of grass.

 

          The roar of a zipper unzipping can be HEARD.  A golden stream

          of urine shoots into the toilet and crashes into the water.

 

                              TAD (O.S.)

                           (continuing)

                    Whas goin on, Mike?  No shit?

                           (playful)

                    Well, I hate to say it.  I mean I

                    think your little band's pretty cool

                    and all, but the sad truth of it is,

                    DKB will third dick you.  We'd put

                    your dick into the dirt so bad,

                    you'll be all Sammy Hagared out.

 

                                                   DISSOLVE TO:

 

          2-B  INT TAD'S HOUSE DAY

 

          An extreme close up of Tad's eye, slowly pull back through

          the cheap postal scale dangling from his finger tips.  The

          scale is rigged up with paper clips to replace the original

          parts.  The shot pulls back to reveal a bag of weed attached

          to it, the marijuana looks bad; like dirt clods with sticks

          in it.  Tad has the phone resting on his shoulder.  The sound

          of pissing can barely be heard from the bathroom as Tad

          mumbles on.

 

          A distant knocking can be HEARD.



                              TAD

                           (into the phone)

                    Say, man, hold on...Whu?

 

          More knocking.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing)

                    Just a sec.

                           (yelling at the door)

                    Come in!

                           (into the phone)

                    Hey, Mike.  How much you need?

 

          We HEAR the front screen door creak open and someone walks

          in, slamming the door closed.  We HEAR the footsteps

          approach.  Tad acknowledges Ned's presence with a nod and

          sets the scale down.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing)

                    A quarter?  Well shit, c'mon over big

                    spender... alright... later.

 

          Tad hangs up the phone and loads the bong.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing; to NED,

                            slurring)

                    Goddamn, Ned, whus up? I ain't seen

                    your ugly ass in a while.

 

                              NED

                    Dude, we're playing a show tonight,

                    me, Chicken and Burtis.  It's gunna

                    fuckin rule.

 

                              TAD

                           (didn't hear Ned)

                    How much weed you need?

 

                              NED

                    Yeah, I nee a lid

 

                              TAD

                    So what are we talking about?  What

                    the fuck's a lid?



                              NED

                    An ounce.

 

          Tad hands the bong to Ned.

 

                              TAD

                           (mumbling)

                    Huff on this shit.  So whatcha been

                    up to?

 

          Ned hits the bong and hands it back to Tad, exhaling a cloud

          of smoke.

 

                              NED

                    Hey, didn't you hear me?  My band's

                    gunna play a show tonight.

 

                              TAD

                    Yeah, we'll blow your shit out.

 

          Tad loads up a hit for himself.

 

                              NED

                    Fuck your band you just don't know

                    the power that Witchbanger has.  When

                    are you fools playing anyway?

 

                              TAD

                    Soon as we find a new drummer.

 

          Tad hits the bong.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing; holding

                            in the smoke)

                    Shit, I dunno that we'll be playin

                    out fer awhile, on account of I got

                    this here ankle bracelet.

 

          Tad exhales a puff of smoke as he kicks his leg up onto the

          coffee table to display the electronic surveillance device

          strapped onto his ankle.

 

                              NED

                           (laughing)

                    Oh, shit.  What happened?



                              TAD

                    Oh, well Ned,

                           (leans in)

                    you know about my thing with laundry

                    mats don't you?

 

          Move in on ankle brace.

 

                                                   DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

        4 INT  FLASHBACK LAUNDRY MAT NIGHT                         4

 

          A shot of the coin slot on one of the dryers.  Tad is

          standing in front of a dryer in an empty laundry mat.  Tad

          digs out some quarters and pumps them into the slot.  Tad

          loads up the last coin and cranks it down the hole.  He opens

          the door, pulls out a folded up porn picture and a beer

          bottle cap from his crusty jeans pocket.  He tapes the

          picture over the dryer and and places the bottle cap it on

          his thumb.  With the bottle cap, he presses down the button

          that activates the machine and the dryer starts spinning and

          humming as it comes to life, blowing the picture around.

 

          Tad turns the heat knob to full blast and looks around,

          checking to see that the coast is clear.  He unzips his

          pants, spits in his hand and starts to choke the chicken.

          His eyes roll back and he begins to sweat.

 

          Right as Tad is about to shoot his load into the whirling

          machine, a little GIRL and her MOM walks into the laundry mat.

 

                              GIRL

                    Mister, are you hurt?

 

          Tad turns to look and the girl starts screaming.

 

          The mom runs over, drops her basket and grabs her child,

          covering her eyes.  The girl continues to scream.

 

          END FLASHBACK

 

          2C INT TAD'S HOUSE DAY

 

          Tad and Ned in the living room.  Tad is scratching his ankle

          under the bracelet with a dirty fork.



                              TAD

                    Yeah, they busted me for attempted

                    molestation of a minor, public

                    lewdness, having a visible erection,

                    rape of a coin operated machine, and

                    ever thing else they could think of.

                    And what the fuck's the girl doin

                    there in the middle of the night

                    anyway?  It's her parents that should

                    be arrested.

 

                              NED

                    Did you at least get to, ya know blow

                    a load or what?

 

          Ned moves his hand as if masturbating.

 

                              TAD

                    Naw, that kid started screaming and

                    shit.

 

          FLASHBACK of the kid screaming with covered eyes, END

          FLASHBACK.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing)

                    The lil bastard ruined it for me.  I

                    was just about to go, but, you

                    know...I lost my...uh..concentration.

 

                              NED

                           (laughing)

                    You're a sick motherfucker.

 

                              TAD

                    There was this cop at the convenient

                    store next door and he heard that kid

                    screaming and came running over and

                    hauled me down.

 

                              NED

                    What's wrong with you?



                              TAD

                    I dunno.

                           (getting excited)

                    You know the real funny part is the

                    cops didn't find that pound of weed

                    I threw in the other machine before

                    I got started.

 

                              NED

                    Shit, I guess you won't be goin

                    anywhere for a while.

 

                              TAD

                           (mumbling)

                    That little girl probably found it.

                    The little bitch is out sellin my

                    weed.

                           (to Ned)

                    Whut?  Naw, I'm stuck right here for

                    six months.

 

                              NED

                    Well, check it out, I brought these

                    Witchbanger flyers over.

 

          Ned hands Tad a stack of flyers.  It has Nashville Pussy and

          Fuckemos written on top with Witchbanger beneath.  Tad tosses

          the flyers on the table and grabs the bong.  Tad reloads the

          bong and hands it to Ned.  Ned holds onto the bong as if it

          were a microphone.

 

                              NED

                           (continuing)

                    This show is gunna fuckin rule.  This

                    is the shit.  Did you see who we're

                    playing with?

 

                              TAD

                    Yeah.  Goddamn, that's a good line

                    up.  Except uh...

 

          3-B  INT TAD'S BATHROOM DAY

 

          A shot of TOE, he just finished writing "Pigpoke" on the

          bathroom wall.  Toe tries to put the marker back into the cap

          in his mouth, he writes on his lip before he is successful.



                              NED (O.S.)

                    Yeah, Witchbanger's gunna hit the big

                    time tonight, baby.  And on top of

                    that, today's new guitar day.

 

                              TAD (O.S.)

                    It's about time.

 

                              NED (O.S.)

                    No shit.  Check it out, I found a bad

                    ass deal at this pawn shop.  It's a

                           (Ned talks into bong

                            making it echo)

                    -Warlock!

 

          The pissing noise stops as we cut back to the close up of the

          toilet, and a drop of piss splashes on the rim.  Toe steps

          over to the bathroom door to better hear what Ned is saying.

          Toe steps back over to the mirror and wipes off the marker

          spot.

 

          2-D INT TAD'S HOUSE DAY

 

          Ned hits the bong.

 

                              NED

                           (exhaling smoke,

                            continuing)

                    It was down at that...

                           (trying not to cough)

                    ...pawn shop on South First.

 

                              TAD

                    We're familiar with it.

 

          Ned puts the bong down.

 

                              NED

                    Dude, this guitar is so friggin

                    metal, you could kill with it.  It'

                    like a bad ass Conan axe or

                    something.  Check it out, only forty-

                    five bucks.

 

                              TAD

                    No shit?



                              NED

                    Can you believe that?  Forty-five

                    bucks.

                           (Ned has a revelation)

                    I bet I can get em to come down to

                    thirty-five.

 

          3-C  INT TAD'S BATHROOM DAY

 

          TOE pulls out his wallet and digs out his money which

          promptly plops into the toilet.  Toe looks around and finds

          Tad's razor and tries to fish his money out.  Toe looks

          around for another utensil to aid him in rescuing his cash.

          He sees the toothbrush, but passes on it, opting for the comb

          instead.  Toe uses the razor and comb like chopsticks and

          grabs the money.  He tosses the cash into the sink and runs

          some water over it.

 

                              NED (O.S.)

                    When Chicken gets off work, he's

                    gunna front me the cash to buy it.

 

          Toe puts his wallet back in his pocket.  He grabs the wet

          money and lays it out on the counter.  There are two tens, a

          five and two one dollar bills.  As he is gathering up the

          cash, he knocks Tad's toothbrush into the toilet.

 

          2-E  INT TAD'S LIVING ROOM DAY

 

          Tad and Ned in the living room.  Tad adds more dope to the

          sandwich bag and re-weighs it.  He rolls up the bag and

          tosses it onto the coffee table where it gets lost among the

          several other rolled up bags of weed and other drug

          paraphernalia.

 

          Ned pulls all the cash out of his wallet, fifty dollars, and

          hands it to Tad.

 

                              NED

                    All the money in the world.

 

          Ned surveys the pile of bags, trying to identify the bag that

          Tad had tossed, he reaches for a bag.

 

          3-D  INT TAD'S BATHROOM DAY

 

          An extreme close up of the toilet handle as Toe reaches for

          it.  We can see the reflection of Toe in the chrome.



          Toe flushes, the tooth brush bounces around in the bowl but

          doesn't go down.

 

          2-F  INT TAD'S HOUSE DAY

 

          The opening of the bathroom door startles Tad and Ned.  Tad

          freaks out and in a giant swooping motion, tries to throw the

          weed under the sofa.  All the baggies of weed are catapulted

          into the air as Tad crashes into the tray that hangs half off

          the table and flips it skyward.  The bags of weed scatter

          everywhere and Toe catches one.

 

          Ned, sits frozen in fear with his bag of drugs clenched

          tightly in his fist.  In a delayed reaction, he throws the

          weed on the empty coffee table and retracts himself back into

          the couch, trying to act as if nothing had happened.

 

                              TAD

                           (laughing nervously)

                    Jesus fuckin Christ, Toe!

 

          Toe, who has a wet spot in his front pocket from the money,

          starts laughing.

 

                              TAD

                           (continuing)

                    I thought you were the goddamn cops.

 

                              TOE

                           (laughing)

                    Hey--it's okay man.  You might wanna

                    check your pants for some shit.

 

          Toe grabs the bag off the coffee table.

 

                              TAD

                    What the hell were you doin in there

                    fer half an hour?  Ya fuckin pervert.

 

          Toe sits next to Tad, acting sincere.

 

                              TOE

                    Hey, I'm not the one with the ankle

                    brace.  No, but really, I hate to

                    piss and run, but would it be cool if

                    I could paid you on Monday.

 

                              TAD

                    Naw, it's cool. I don't give a shit.



                              TOE

                    Kickass. Hey, I gotta roll.

 

          Toe starts to leave and he holds up the bag of grass.

 

                              TOE

                           (continuing)

                    Thanks.

 

          Toe exits and the ripped-up screen door slams shut behind him.

 

 

        5 EXT ROSS'S HOUSE DAY                                     5

 

          Toe Pulls up to Ross's house in his beat up old pickup, he is

          wearing headphones.  He hops out and trots up to the front

          door.  He pulls the headphones off his ears and rests them on

          his neck.

 

                              TOE

                    Yo, Ross!

 

          Toe opens the screen door and walks in.

 

 

        6 INT ROSS'S HOUSE DAY                                     6

 

          The screen door slams behind Toe and startles RON, a tattooed

          freak is passed out on the couch.

 

                              ROSS (O.S.)

                    Come on in.  I'm in the back room.

 

          Toe walks through the living room and down the hall.

 

 

        7 INT  ROSS'S BEDROOM DAY                                  7

 

          He enters the back room where ROSS is watching TV and eating

          cereal on a metal ALF dinner tray.

 

                              ROSS

                    What's up Toe?

 

                              TOE

                    Just killing time.  I figured I'd

                    stop by and smoke you out.



                              ROSS

                    Well, all right, pull up a sit down.

 

          Toe pulls out the bag of weed and sits down.  Capzeyez is on

          the tv, it's an Access channel show that plays music videos

          by local bands and takes live phone calls.  DAVE PREWITT is

          taking calls.

 

                              TOE

                    Hey it's Capzeyez.  Where's your

                    phone?

 

          Ross hands the phone to Toe.

 

                              ROSS

                    Here.

 

          Toe dials and it's busy.

 

                              TOE

                    Fuck, this thing's always busy.

 

          Toe hits redial.

 

                              TOE

                           (continuing)

                    I just came from over at Tad's house.

                    Got some weed.

 

          Toe hears the busy signal and he hangs up and hits redial.

          Ross finishes eating, puts his tv dinner tray on the coffee

          table and hands the ALF tray to Toe.

 

                              DAVE PREWITT (TV)

                    ...this next video is called Mad

                    Beast Wiggle by The Phantom Creeps.

 

          The video starts up.  Toe hangs up and hits redial.

 

                              TOE

                    ALF, man, he's just some fucked up,

                    mutated Muppet sell out.

 

          Toe dumps some weed on the tray and breaks it up,  He loads

          up the joint rolling machine and grabs the pack of rolling

          papers off the table.  He pulls out a paper and seven papers

          stick together.  Toe rips one off and preps it for the weed.

          Toe hangs up and hits redial.



                              TOE

                           (continuing)

                    Anyway, while I was over there, I

                    heard about this guitar in the pawn

                    shop.

                           (listening to the

                            phone)

                    --Hey, I gotta ring.

 

          Toe puts the phone on his shoulder.

 

                              ROSS

                    Your guitar's in the pawn shop?

 

                              TOE

                    Yeah...no. Aaargh!  You wont believe

                    this, this is fucked up.  I had my

                    guitar in the pawn shop and I thought

                    I had til the fourth to pay off the

                    interest.  I was two days late and

                    they sold it.  Can you believe that

                    shit?

 

                              ROSS

                    So whatcha gunna do?

 

                              TOE

                    Well, I heard about this Warlock for

                    sale at that pawn shop on South

                    First.

 

          6-B   INT ROSS"S LIVINGROOM DAY                            6-B

 

          Ron, lying on the couch, listening.  He gets up and leaves,

          suspiciously.

 

          7-B   INT ROSS'S BACK ROOM DAY                             7-B

 

                              ROSS

                           (laughing)

                    A Warlock.

 

                              TOE

                    Hey, it's only forty-five bucks.

 

          Toe licks the paper and snaps out a joint.  Toe picks up a

          lighter from the coffee table and lights the joint.



                              TOE

                    The problem is, I only got twenty-

                    five bucks.  So I figured I would

                    come over and sell you a quarter for

                    twenty-five.

 

          Toe passes the joint to Ross and he huffs the weed. Ross

          puffs the joint.

 

                              ROSS

                    I don't have twenty-five bucks.

 

                              TOE

                    How about a dime for ten?

 

                              ROSS

                    A dime bag.  I can't believe you're

                    over here pushing a dime bag on me!

 

          Ross walks off with the joint, he goes into the kitchen.

          Something slams shut.

 

                              ROSS (O.S.)

                    Peer pressuring me and shit.  Lemme

                    see if I got it.

 

          Ross walks back into the back room, still puffing away on the

          joint.  Ross hands Toe the roach and drops ten bucks on the

          coffee table.  Toe passes him the joint and he sits down.

          Toe pulls out his wallet and stuffs the cash into it.  He

          picks up the bag of weed and takes some of the grass out and

          places it on the flyer.  Toe notices the flyer is for Ross's

          band, and he picks one up.  It reads "Fuckemos & Nashville

          Pussy" across the top and has the name of the club, the Blue

          Flamingo and the date.

 

                              TOE

                    Hey, you guys are playing tonight?

 

          Toe passes the joint back to Ross.

 

                              ROSS

                    Yep.

 

                              TOE

                    Nashville Pussy, eh?  That's gunna

                    fucking rock.  Who's opening up for

                    you guys?



          Toe puts his bag of grass back in his pocket, leaving a small

          pile on the table.

 

                              ROSS

                    I don't know, man.  I think it's just

                    us and the Pussy.

 

          Ross passes the roach to Toe.

 

                              TOE

                    No shit, huh?

 

          Toe huffs the roach and tosses the flyer back onto the coffee

          table.

 

                              TOE

                           (continuing)

                    Hey, how bout havin Pigpoke open up

                    fer you guys?  --Hey I'm on.

 

          Cut to a shot of the television.

 

 

        8 -A  INT  WITCHBANGER'S LIVINGROOM DAY                    8

 

          CHICKEN is sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, and

          watching Capzeyez.  He notices a big ass sake slither by and

          into the bathroom.

 

                              DAVE PREWITT (TV)

                    Capzeyez.

 

                              TOE

                    Hey Dave, it's Toe from Pigpoke.

 

                              DAVE PREWITT (TV)

                    Here we go.  Hey Toe, before you

                    start, I didn't bring that homemade

                    Pigpoke video of yours this week.

 

                              TOE

                    Awww, come on, I know you have it in

                    there somewhere.

 

          Chicken grabs a nearby stick and chases the snake into the

          bathroom.



                              DAVE PREWITT (TV)

                    Hey, I played it for you last week.

                    I've got that new El Insecto video,

                    some live footage of the Voltage,

                    some really great footage of King

                    Cheese when they were in the studio,

                    I've got--

 

          7-C    INT ROSS'S BEDROOM DAY

 

                              TOE

                    Hey, Dave, if you don't have the

                    video, then check this out.

 

          Toe puts his headphones on the receiver and plays the Pigpoke

          song "Kane".

 

                              TOE

                           (continuing)

                    We just recorded that yesterday at

                    practice.  That's our new song.  Hey,

                    Ross wants to know if you have the

                    Fuckemos video.

 

          8-B   INT WITCHBANGER'S LIVINGROOM DAY

 

                              DAVE PREWITT (TV)

                    I've got "Do You Wanna Dance" right

                    here.

 

                              TOE

                    Bad ass.  Will you play that for us?

                    And come check out the Fuckemos and

                    Pigpoke tonight at the Blue Flame,

                    with Nashville Pussy.

 

                              DAVE PREWIT (TV)

                    Thanks Toe, here's the Fuckemos.

 

          The Fuckemos video starts up.  We hear a noise outside: KA-

          PACK!  Ned opens the door and we see a flyer stapled to it.

          Ned walks into the living room, it is filled with music

          equipment.  This is where Witchbanger practices.

 

                              NED

                    Hey Chicken!

 

                              CHICKEN (O.S.)

                    I'm in the bathroom.



        9 INT  WITCHBANGER'S BATHROOM DAY                          9

 

          Ned walks over to the bathroom.  A magazine comes flying out.

          It hits the ground and reads "Ripe & Ready".  Chicken is

          digging shit out from under the bathtub.  Ned draws up the

          staple gun like a pistol.

 

                              NED

                    What the fuck are you doing?

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Dude, I was trying to catch this rat-

                    snake that went under the tub and I

                    found this score of jack mags.

 

          Ned picks up a magazine and sits on the toilet and flips

          through it.

 

                              NED

                    Christ, it's all old people.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Look on page 43, I call that one the

                    Cavity Creep.

 

          Ned flips the pages.

 

                              NED

                    Oh, Jesus.  You should call that one

                    the echo chamber.

                           (simulating and echo

                            into his hands)

                    Hello, hello, hello...

 

          Ned tosses the magazine onto the floor, where there is a pile

          of mags.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    You got the weed?

 

                              NED

                    Yeah, but we gotta go.  It's new

                    guitar day.  We'll roll one on the

                    way.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    So you need money, right?

 

                              NED

                    Yeah.  Hey, where's Burtis.



          They walk into the living room where the Fuckemos video is

          still on.  Chicken has a stack of porn in his hand.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Beer store.  Hey that's the Fuckemos.

 

                              NED

                    No shit, let's go.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Hold on a sec.  I'm gunna call in and

                    tell Dave about the show tonight.

 

          Chicken picks up the phone.

 

                              NED

                    Come on, dude, we gotta go.  The pawn

                    shop closes pretty soon.  Bring those

                    jack mags, maybe we can get a trade

                    in.

 

          Ned hangs up the phone and they start to leave.  Chicken is

          still carrying a handful of porn.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Fuck that, these are mine.

 

                              NED

                    Maybe they're Burtis's.

 

          Chicken drops the magazine in disgust.

 

 

       10 EXT PAWN SHOP DAY                                        10

 

          Toe's half dead pickup truck creaks into the parking lot of

          the Pawn shop.  The music that can be heard playing on his

          headphones starts to slow down, eventually coming to a stop

          as the batteries die.  He tosses the headphones into the

          glove box.  The clerk is sweeping the sidewalk in front of

          the store, preparing to close.  Toe hops out and runs in.

          The clerk sets down the broom and follows Toe into the store.

          The door slams shut, CLANGING the bells tied to the handle.

 

          Ron comes walking up.  He notices Toe's truck and peeks

          inside through the window.  He sees Toe and turns and walks

          away.  Ron rounds the corner as the ringing of the bells dies

          out.



          Toe comes busting through the door, proudly cradling his

          newly purchased Warlock guitar.  Toe tries to start the truck

          but nothing happens, he casually pushes his pickup backward

          and pops the clutch, starting it up.  He drives away, passing

          Chicken and Ned on the road, they see each other.

 

          We see Ned riding shotgun in Chicken's car as they pull into

          the driveway.  Ned hops out and walks up to the pawn shop,

          watching Toe drive away.  He yanks the door open just as the

          clerk was flipping the closed sign.  The door comes crashing

          shut with the banging of the bells.  A second later, Ned

          comes bursting out of the door.

 

                              NED

                           (screaming)

                    FUCK!!!

 

          He kicks over the trash can by the front door, spilling trash

          everywhere.

 

 

       11 INT TOE'S LIVING ROOM DAY                                11

 

          Toe's living room is filled with musical instruments, there's

          a Pigpoke banner on the wall and several sheets with cave-

          type drawings on them stapled to the wall.  Toe, MIC, TRAV

          and BO screw up the end of a Pigpoke song.  Toe points to the

          hieroglyphics they use as sheet music.

 

                              TOE

                    No, it's three rabbits, then four of

                    these little gun things.

 

                              MIC

                    Wait..what the fuck the was that?

 

                              TRAV

                           (to Mic)

                    You only played two rabbits.

 

                              MIC

                    Well, what happened to the gophers?

 

                              BO

                    What gophers?

 

          Mic points at the cave scrawlings.



                              MIC

                    That's not a gopher?

 

                              BO

                    That's not a fucking gopher.

 

          Bo points at the picture.

 

                              BO

                           (continuing)

                    Look at the bunny ears.

 

                              TOE

                    C'mon guys, quit jerking off.  We got

                    a show tonight.

 

                              MIC

                    Okay, so which fuckin one is the

                    rabbit?

 

                              BO

                    It's the one with the ears.

 

          Bo points to the picture.

 

                              MIC

                    No shit.  Someone play me a fuckin

                    rabbit.

 

          Toe plays his guitar.

 

                              TOE

                    Okay, this is a rabbit. And this is

                    a gun...rabbit...gun.

 

                              BO

                           (yelling over guitar)

                    No gophers.

 

          Toe keeps on playing, he finally stops.

 

                              TOE

                    Man, this guitar rules!

 

                              MIC

                    Man, fuck this song, let's bail.

 

          Toe holds up the guitar admiring it.



                              TOE

                    You know, I bought this with drug

                    money.  That fucking rules.

 

 

       12 -A   EXT TOE'S HOUSE DAY                                 12

 

          Toe, Trav, and Mic load their equipment into the bed of Toe's

          pickup.  The house across the street has a band practicing in

          their garage, lame funk music is blaring.  Toe tosses his

          guitar into the bed of his pickup.

 

                              TOE

                    Ya know, I was thinkin, I could sell

                    enough weed to fix up the truck.

                    Replace all the broken windows and

                    maybe buy a camper.  She'd be ready

                    for a tour.

 

          Mic drops some equipment into the back of the pickup and it

          creaks under the weight.

 

                              MIC

                    Man, this piece of crap probably wont

                    even make it to the show tonight.

                    Fuck a road trip.  We'd stall out

                    somewhere in Williamson County and

                    get pimped out by the police and

                    thrown in the clink.

 

                              TOE

                    Dude, she runs just fine. All I need

                    is like a tune up and maybe some new

                    tires.

 

                              MIC

                    Whatever.

 

                              TOE

                    And with Tad being under house arrest

                    for trying to fuck a dryer, I could

                    make deliveries to all his old

                    customers like he used to.

 

                              TRAV

                    Yeah, I heard about that.



                              MIC

                    Man, I saw that fuckin idiot riding

                    his fucked up green bike down the

                    street with a beer bottle in his

                    mouth and a big ass bag of weed in

                    his hand.

 

 

       13 EXT  STREET FLASHBACK DAY                                13

 

          A shot of Tad riding a green 20 inch BMX bike, a bag of weed

          is in his hand and a beer bottle hanging from his mouth. He

          rides up next to a roadside cafe.

 

                              TAD

                    Hey, any of you frat boys ever seen

                    five pound of weed?

 

          The frat boys start to chase Tad.

 

          END FLASHBACK

 

          12-B  EXT TOE'S HOUSE DAY

 

                              MIC

                    Just riding along like it was nuthin.

 

                              TOE

                    Just think about this.  It's the last

                    American adventure, touring across

                    the nation with your band.  The

                    Cricket will make the trip, she's a

                    champ.

 

                              MIC

                    Man, no one even comes to our shows

                    here in town.

 

                              TOE

                    Dude, no one will ever come out if we

                    don't make something happen.  We'll

                    play and party every night and come

                    home kings.  We'll be so fucking

                    tight by the time we get home, this

                    town won't know what hit it.

 

          Bo comes out with his bass rig.



                              BO

                    Who won't know what hit who?

 

                              TOE

                    I'm talking about a tour.

 

                              BO

                    Fuck, I'm in.  It isn't like any of

                    us have anything better to do anyway.

 

                              TRAV

                    No shit, I could skip out on rent for

                    a few months. Fuckin landlord keeps

                    raising that shit on me anyway.

 

                              TOE

                    Exactly.  Now, Bo could call around

                    and get us some shows, and I figure

                    all I need is a couple of weeks to

                    move some dope and fix up the Cricket

                    and we can bail in two weeks.

 

          Mic walks back into the house as Bo loads his gigantic

          speaker box into the bed, and Toe ponders the possibilities,

          oblivious to Bo's struggling.

 

                              TRAV

                    Hey, I know this dude, Stu, in North

                    Austin, he's always lookin for pot.

                    And he's loaded, I met him at the

                    titty bar.  He was spotting me all

                    these ones to stuff in the girl's g-

                    strings.

 

                              TOE

                    No shit?  Can you hook me up with him?

 

          Mic comes out with more drums.

 

                              TRAV

                    Sure.

 

                              MIC

                    Man, is that the only fucking song

                    they know?

 

          Mic puts the drums in the truck and starts searching for

          something on the ground. Bo walks back into the house.



                              TOE

                    Forget that.  Listen, Trav, call that

                    Stu guy and have him meet us at the

                    Blue Flame tonight.

 

                              TRAV

                    Yeah, I got his number right here.

 

          Trav searches his wallet for the phone number.  Chicken's car

          can be seen in the background.  Mic finds a rock and picks it

          up. Mic throw a dirt clod at the house of funk and he nearly

          hits Chicken's car as it drives by. The car HONKS and keeps

          going as the dirt clod explodes on the garage door.

 

                                                   PAN TO:

 

          Follow Chicken's vehicle.

 

                              MIC

                           (yelling at the car)

                    Fuck you!

 

 

       14 EXT TOE'S NEIGHBORHOOD - WITCHBANGER'S VEHICLE DAY       14

 

          Chicken and Ned drive past Toe's house and through the

          neighborhood.  There is fast food trash on the seat between

          them.  Chicken is turned around watching Mic as he flips them

          the bird.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Fuck your ass!  You shitball

                    fuckhead--

 

          Ned grabs the wheel as Chicken nearly hits a parked car.

 

                              CHICKEN

                           (continuing; to Ned)

                    Hold the wheel.

 

          Chicken sticks his head out the window.

 

                              CHICKEN

                           (continuing; to Mic)

                    Eat shit!

 

          Chicken flips the bird back at Mic who picks up a rock and

          hurls it at the car.  They can hear a song as they drive off.



                              NED

                    That guy is a freak.  Hey, listen to

                    that song.  That's pretty good.

 

          As they drive through the neighborhood, they pass the sounds

          of many bands practicing inside their houses.  The

          neighborhood is filled with bands.  One song fades out as

          another fades in.

 

                              NED

                           (continuing)

                    Wait, wait, slow down.

 

          Chicken slows down as they listen to another song coming from

          inside a different house on the same block.  They drive some

          more.  Lots of songs fade in and out, slow and rhythmically.

 

                              NED

                           (continuing)

                    Man, we should get a place over here.

                    This is the place to live.  Every

                    house has a band.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Maybe we should stop and borrow a

                    guitar from someone so we can play

                    our show tonight.

 

                              NED

                    Don't worry about it, Skete will loan

                    me his Carpal Tunnel Syndrome guitar.

 

          They pull into the driveway of Chicken's house.

 

 

       15 EXT WITCHBANGER'S HOUSE DAY                              15

 

          Chicken parks the car, he and Ned hop out.

 

                              NED

                    Did you get the phone turned back on?

 

                              CHICKEN

                    Naw, they said it would be a few days.

 

                              NED

                    Fuck.



          Ned walks down the dirt path that leads to the street.

          Chicken walks up to the house and enters.  Chicken and BURTIS

          come out of the house.  Chicken is dragging his bass

          amplifier and Burtis has an arm-full of drums.  They load up

          the car.

 

 

       16 -A   EXT  PAYPHONE DAY                                   16

 

          Ned walks over to the pay phone across the street and digs

          out the change in his pocket.  He has four nickels.  Ned

          looks around the ground, searching for money.  Burtis and

          Chicken finish loading up the car and they drive over to the

          pay phone.  Ned is sitting in the dirt waiting.

 

                              CHICKEN

                    What's up?

 

                              NED

                    I only got twenty cents.

 

          Chicken searches the ashtray, but there ore only pennies.

          Chicken hops out and looks in the crack of the seat.  Ned

          opens the back door and does the same.  Finally, Burtis joins

          in.  They search for some time until Burtis pops up.

 

                              BURTIS

                    Got one!

 

          Burtis hops out of the car proudly displaying the treasure.

 

                              BURTIS

                           (continuing)

                    Here ya go.

 

          Burtis flips the nickel to Ned, the coin gets lost in the sun

          and falls to the ground.  Ned picks up the coin, walks back

          over to the pay phone and pumps the five nickels into it and

          punches seven numbers.

 

 

       17 -A   INT  SKETE'S HOUSE EVENING                          17

 

          SKETE is crashed out on the couch.  His phone starts ringing

          but Skete is motionless.

 

          16-B EXT PAYPHONE EVENING



          Ned drops the phone and it dangles by the cord, still

          ringing.  Ned hops in the van and they take off.


CONTINUE